Why am i dating an alcoholic
Then there’s the inevitable fact that they are emotionally incapable of demonstrating their love in a way that will seep into your bones the way kids need it to.
There’s a merry-go-round quality about the systems and functions and habits that occur in an alcoholic home.
It just seems that he would be better off figuring out his own issues first before he starts a new relationship.
All-to-often a new relationship can be used to delay or cover-up dealing with our problems.
Soon enough, that merry-go-round becomes a hamster wheel and even after you’ve grown up and moved out, you still run races you’ll never win.
And ache for a love deep down in the recesses of your being–in that unfillable void–that you’ll do anything to feel OK and thus you reach out for stuff: people, food, money, status, drugs, anything. When I was 18, I moved in with an alcoholic/addict who was verbally abusive and a perpetual cheat.
They’ve taught me about transformation, meditation, prayer and about the tenacity of the human spirit, and ferocious devotion to getting better and staying alive. XOXO Darrah Le Montre is a writer and journalist and devoted mom.
They’ve inspired me to push through the more difficult times in my life when my own addiction problems and harmful thinking manipulate me into hopelessness. Her work has been published by Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and nudie blog Suicide Girls.
But you’re at a crossroads and from what you said in your question, it sounds like the best thing for both of you would be to not start up a relationship.I feel kind of heartless writing that, but I’m thinking in terms of what I would tell my closest female friends or my sister if they asked me what you asked me.There’s nothing wrong with being a supportive friend to him while he figures out his alcohol addiction.My boyfriend was violent and angry and his family couldn’t stand him. Despite obvious signs that he was cheating on me, including women’s phone numbers in the pockets of his jeans, folded up flyers to strip clubs and the monthly solo road trips he took to San Francisco to “clear his mind,” I simply refused to act on my suspicions. My mind—or the “danger zone” as I liked to call it—was simply not a safe place for me to be without the distraction of a man. I joke that I can find a room filled with 100 people and instantly be drawn to the ones who have a drinking problem. • If an alcoholic cannot handle the topic of conversation, they will ignore it (and you). • Alcoholics fear they are not going to live up to your fantasy of them. • I will always have a soft spot for alcoholics because the first person I loved was one.He was the first alcoholic man, in a string of men and women, who would fill my dating diary. For better or for worse, there is a comfort and familiarity in the inner workings of an alcoholic that doesn’t exist with others. • Alcoholics feel constantly criticized and fear being controlled. • Alcoholics tend to be self-centered and self-obsessed and immature. After attending a 12-step program for several years, my ex used to say that I had such a handle on the alcoholic mind that I knew how to “drive” an alcoholic. but I get how to maneuver the car and can even keep four wheels between two lines along those steep corners. If I had the choice to do it all again, I can’t say for certain if I would choose to date alcoholics the way I have.