Before dismissing a possible shiduch, listen to all the qualities of the person. You can also reach out to one of the many (Jewish) organizations that can be contacted for real life education/ knowledge/ information on various conditions and how they pertain to Shiduchim.Additionally, it would be worthwhile to have a conversation with someone who has and/ or lives with someone who has the condition, to gain a real life insight about day to day reality. Do not miss out on a wonderful person, possibly your bashert – based on your lay person misinformation, ignorance or biases.Q: Why should I even consider dating someone who has a medical condition?Shouldn’t I date someone with a perfectly clean bill of health?“My single comes home too late for me to have a conversation at night, and mornings are too rushed.The first time I can have a few minutes for a real conversation is later that evening.You can discover a latent health condition after you get married. And then become educated about this particular health concern and the way s/he is dealing with it.We can’t possibly predict what will come down the road, but the things that usually never change are the middos, level of kindness and compassion, and intelligence. You might speak with your own physician, a Rofeh Yedid; however, some general practitioners do not know much about how some of the more nuanced conditions impact the patient.
Many conditions are easily managed, and do not impact daily life. (Some conditions are indeed more complex.) Such a relationship is really not much different from many others. That said, getting back to your question about dating someone with chronic medical condition. Some are concerned about passing on that medical condition to their children. Another legitimate concern is fertility and pregnancy. ” If that person loves you, supports you, cares for you – as you are….This would include how to share about yourself/ your single, how quickly you would call back after doing your ‘research’, after the dates, etc.While the word on the street is that you must get back to the shadchan with 3 days of hearing of a shiduch suggestion, for some that simply isn’t possible. “I will get back to you in 8 days.” You might share your reasoning, but you really don’t have to.Some people are worried about how much care and support they will have to give to the one with the condition? You may miss a chance to be with an amazing person in an amazing relationship because of the stigma of mental illness.Is it the diagnosis, the label of the condition that is disturbing to you? Firstly, be aware that there are many people without a diagnosis of mental disorder – but actually do have diagnosable psychiatric issues; they have just never submitted themselves to a psychiatric evaluation. Additionally, there are some personality traits that are more annoying or intolerable than a mental disorder.