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"I want you to take my husband's teeth out.” ― “A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard.The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep.The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.
They constantly wrap me in a plastic bag, shove me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦” ― “An old lady went to visit her dentist.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't.
It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦” ― “Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!
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" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. My life sucks." The pickle says, "That's nothing compared to my life.