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However, for us with a disability, it can feel impossible. Unseen disability, on the other hand, can be hidden and, depending on its prominence, there’s a chance for assumed normalcy among peers. I can argue this two ways: a Seen Disability (physical) is easier to navigate than an Unseen Disability (mental) because, for the most part, I’m saved from having to explain myself; people can assume my limitations, often fairly accurately.To be clear, I’m fine with talking about my disability.Actually, it’s a great compliment when someone cares enough to seek answers about my condition.My premeditation would be to postpone the “disability conversation” until after I match with a guy, he gets to know me, and I charm the figurative pants off him.
This approach, we’ll call it the Straightforward Method, saved me a lot of time and, thanks to my power to unmatch with the boys and never have to see them again, I could control the flow of abuse.I’ll tell you my first attempt at getting the bear, with the Undercover Method.My experience is all using Bumble, a popular dating app among both younger and sometimes older generations. After some hesitation, I downloaded the app and set my age range to ten years surrounding mine, my proximity to ten miles surrounding me, uploaded pictures of myself I thought were flattering and started swiping. Skipping forward about one month, I went on more first dates than I could count on two hands, and as many second dates as I could count on two fingers.In my case, pictures of myself from the waist-up are easier to find and, in my opinion, more appealing.If I were to, for example, populate my dating profile with only pictures of my smiling face and leave my lower body out of view, this is what I call the Undercover Method.
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For an analogy, dating is like playing the claw game you see at movie theaters and arcades.