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But at some point brothers have to stop reeling off stats about college and prison, and resolve to be something more. I've met very few (if any) black women who need a lecture on asserting themselves.

We all have a moment, as black people, where we have to stop the process of bemoaning what the world thinks of us, and start asserting that which we think of ourselves. Which is why I find this constant "plight of the black woman" bit bewildering.

By her own reckoning Jill Scott's friend is "new." All she knows about him is that he's nice-looking, well compensated and loves his mother.

He could have a trail of baby momma's from Oakland to Kansas City.

It's totally out of whack with what I see/hear in my daily interactions.

An individual, with her own specific hopes, dreams and problems, did those things. But the qualities that allowed her to do those things--compassion, commitment, vision--are not "black" qualities. But we often take this abstract, hazy view of an institution that, like anything else worthwhile, is mostly about dirt, work and tedium.Writing about this has helped me get clearer and clearer on this.To be blunt--I think people who spend their time stressing about the DNA admixture in other people's relationship need to give some thought to boundaries.This was the place I was born and raised; where nobody had to whisper the “n word” or hesitate to stick some feathers in their hair and paint their skin red as a sign of school spirit.Growing up in New Hampshire didn’t prevent me from making friends or dating guys who weren’t white.

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When we bemoan Reggie Bush's relationship, we overstate our knowledge, understate our ignorance, highlight our lack of a serious life, and low-ball our own worth.

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