10 commandments dating my daughter

If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge.

Also, when you’re at my casa, your phone goes on vibrate. Here’s some 411 to meditate upon before you address me. I used to be a drug user/dealer until God zapped me. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget.Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

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